You work out of a Hotel?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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