I wannas sexs uuuuu
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
