their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
