Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
