Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
