Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
