for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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