we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
