i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
