why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Randomize
