If i come over, it means nothing
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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