can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
