Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
