Got a toothbrush?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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