sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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