I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
