i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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