no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
