I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
