Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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