Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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