the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
