i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
