I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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