I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
