We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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