hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
