When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
