I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I love having hate sex.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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