i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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