He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
why is half of my head shaved?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
