What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
