I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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