Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
