Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
