I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
