found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
