ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
