I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
