I understand Curling. That high.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
