i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
