dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
