Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
