We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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