My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
