walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
