Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I am one with the molecules
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
