i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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