I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
do herpes really smell.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
