i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
