I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
